♥* ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY *♥

22 APRIL2010 :)
Happy one year anniversary with hubby :D
He prepare a nice meal for me.

*2 EGGS

*PIECES POTATOES*HUBBY IS SLICING THE POTATOES :)

*COOKING

*MY CHEF POSE 1 :D*POSE 2 :)*POSE 3 :P*THADA~YUMMY

*WOOT WOOT~DONE
*WE FINISHED IT :D YUMYUM~
*HUBBY :D

Thanks for hubby made me a delicious meal :)
Hope that we will be with each other forever.
And you can make more delicious meals for me in every anniversary :P
I LOVE YOU!
NOTHING GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU~ *singing* :P

♥* ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY

♥* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVLY HUBBY *♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!Making birthday wishes :)BLOW!!!Evil cut the birthday cake XDLOL~Yummy!!! :D

31st MARCH 2010.
It's my lovely hubby's 22 yeas old birthday. :)
I promised him that i will back to SDK from KK today.
Cause wanna celebrate his birthday together :D
He came over my house.
And i'm really excited to see him again *hug*

My dad bought a cake for him.
But he's too shy to cut the cake infront of my family XD
So there's just me and him in the process of his birthday lol~

BTW.
I wish that hubby can happy always.
Dreams come true.
Always stay healthy.
Can get anything he want :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY HUBBY :)

♥* STRESS & BLISSFUL *♥

AH!
STRESS STRESS STRESS~
EXAM.CONVO.
All coming soon ==
It made me breathless to be honest.
Can i handle these all things?
I will try my best on it.
ps:The folio not yet done lagi XD

The other side.
After graduate have to find a job.
Well.
My final decision is back my hometown SANDAKAN :o
All my friends not support that i back to my hometown.
Cause they think i will ruin my future.
And they think i going back there is just because of HIM.
But to be honest.
If i said not because of him then i'm a liar.
But not all because of him.
I do think KK is not a place belongs to me to live with.
I'm the person more prefer easy life.
Even i know my salary will be just a lil bit.
Can't even compare to KK or KL.
But i will try my best to make my salary to be more and more again.
Money is really important for life.
But without HAPPY.MONEY is nothing.
So i hope all my friends and family will really support me.
Hope i can really find a great job.
GOD BLESS =]

26th March
Daddy will coming KK for his body check.
I hope he will be alright.
Don't want that he live in the pain again :(
Hope daddy will get well soon.
And mommy too.
Always stay healthy.
GOD BLESS TOO. *pray*

Today is 22th March 2010.
It's our 11 months anniversary =]
Last night is really a happy night for me.
Finally he told me what's really in his heart.
He never being that sweet to me.
But i can feel that he's trustable with all the words he said.
He's a bit shy but i kinda like :D
I feel guilty about in the pass i don't really understand how he is.
Always think that he doesnt love me and never pay out anything for our relationship.
So made all my friends misunderstood him :(
But he's not at all.
He's just a person don't want to show his personality and what he think.
So i hope all my friends can changed their mind about him.
No worries about us.
He will be the future life partner for me and forever :)
And i'm waiting his white gold ring for our engagement :P
For who reading my page now.
I hope you can feel how excited am i and give us a best wishes :) Thanks.

April will going back to SDK.
Kinda excited to meet him and KaKa and my family :D
Can't wait~

BTW.
HOPE ALL THE THINGS WILL GOING TO BE GOOD.
GOD BLESS.

♥* 坚持 *♥

大哭了一场。
现在清醒了许多。
谢谢你们的安慰。
我也很感激。
原谅我的闹情绪。
把你们给吓坏了。
我也惊讶为何我会如此失去控制的大哭。
也许已压仰了很久。
但从未如此释放过。
眼泪和鼻涕化为一团的感觉也真的很不好受。

其实。
他并没有旁人所看的那么不好。
或许你会觉得这是我的借口。
但真的。
他改变了很多。
对我的关心。
对我的体贴。
对我的呵护。
只有我能感觉到。
这些是无法用任何东西来衡量的。
相信我吗？

他。
是个怎样的人。
或许可以大胆的说。
我是最了解他的一个人。
我也大胆的承认。
我是最爱他的一个人。

他。
并没有给过我什么。
并没有实现过什么承诺。
但和他在一起的时光胜过所有。

他。
不成熟。
不积极。
不上进。
但他的将来是无法预测的。

也曾想过。
和他会有未来吗？
我不能回答。
我真的有所保留。
我不知道未来的我们会变成怎样。

如今。
他给我的爱。
渐渐消失。
我也无法挽回什么。
但我告诉自己。
我得撑下去。
就算给自己一个交代。
让我和我的至爱度过我第一次的纪念日。

我。
不在乎他给的爱有多少。
至少我问心无愧。

上天。
让我们遇见。
这就是缘分。
也有它的道理。
勇于接受。
也许某一天你会慢慢明白。
也或许有一天。
你得到的会比付出的多。

家人。
对我来说是第一位。
永远不变。
我叛逆。
我浪费。
对不起。
原谅我的认真和无知。
但我懂得孝顺。
不管未来怎样。
我真的会学着抬起整头家。
不会再让家人担心。
我长大了。
我爱你们。

人说爱情是盲目的。
说的一点也没错。
但我还能想。
还能思考。
我做的一切。
我都懂。
只不过我从未想要放弃。
也从未学习过放弃。
但若时间到了。
放弃将会是我最终的选择。

我说写的都不是我的借口。
是我内心的话。
只有爱过的人会明白吧。
又或许我只不过是个天真的人。

坚持。
我相信。
能到最后。

♥* WAITING & WISHING *♥

付出的太多了。

想收回已太迟。

伤痕累累；却觉得是值得。

想放手；却又不舍得。

想放弃；却又不甘心。

累了。真的累了。

但付出的爱；让我无法自拔。

认命。

或许有那么一天，得到的会比付出的多。

也只能盼望有这么一天的到来。

THINGS I PAID OUT ARE TOO MUCH TO COUNT.
IT'S TOO LATE TO WANNA GET IT BACK.
HURT A LOT.
BUT THINK IT'S ALL ARE WORTH.
WANNA LET GO.
BUT DON'T WANT TO.
WANNA GIVE UP.
BUT NOT ABLE TO DO IT.
FEELING TIRED.
REALLY TIRED.
BUT THE LOVE I PAID OUT.
MADE ME CAN'T TURN BACK.
I ACCEPT.
MAYBE THERE'S SOMEDAY.
THE THINGS I GET BACK WILL BE MORE THAN I PAID OUT NOW.
HOPE THAT SOMEDAY WILL COMEING VERY SOON.

♥* 2010 *♥

It's like an ages i never on to my blog and update.
There's been a lot of things happened at the passed year.
Sad.Happy.Surprised.Excited.Blissful.
And many many.
To be honest.
I don't really like and enjoyed the days in last year 2009.
Cause there's a lot of unlucky things happened to this world.
And it makes people keep believe that 2012 will really be the end of this whole world including me.
My life was really be in really sucks though.
2009 i experienced depressed.sad.frustrated.broken heart.mad and and and...........
I never want to meet that kinds of problems again.
Just like what i said.
I'm not that strong but i'm trying not to be weak.
All right.
2009 is over.
I have to be mature again.

Woohoo.
2010 a brand new year :)
Hope that something good will happen to me^^

Let's talk about my course that i studying now.
SNIPS ACADEMY.
I stayed at this collegue like almost a year.
So it's almost the time i graduate.
Between the time stay at collegue.
For sure learn a lot of things.
Attended shows to experienced how to handle live model in the live show.
And in this coming month.March or April.
Maybe there will be a hair show for us that who will graduate.
I'm excited and for sure really worrying and afraid XD
Cause still doubt about my skills and my creative mind^^
But i will do my best in it :)
So after graduated.
There's a lot of challenged waiting for me ==
I'm not a student again and have to handle all the things by my own......
Feels horibble :'(
But still have to face it.
GOD BLESE ME :D



The other side.
About my relationship.
Well.
I can said that we engaged ^^
Hard to explain the things happened last year.
And don't wanna talk about it again.
But this brand new year just like a fresh new start of us.
The love from each other is growing to more and more.
He's learning to show me his love.
Always holding my hands.hugging me.kissing me.And protecting me.
Never want to let go.
I love this boy so much until there's no any words can describe about it.
I just can say i wanna be with him forever nomatter what.
Btw.We wont know what will happen in the future.
But nomatter what.My heart is still belongs to him forever.
Just like the words on our pair of ring necklace 'FOREVER WITH YOU'.
I LOVE YOU.HUBBY :)

Dong dong chiang.Dong dong chiang.
WOW.
Chinese new year is coming very soon.
So wish all around the world will be very peaceful.blissful.happy.lucky.healthy and a lot of good things will happen :D
And the worst things wont happen again.
GOGOGO.

♥*FOREVER WITH YOU*♥

UPTADE MY BLOG VERY SOON :)

* SHAKING *

You said that i'm Moron.
Yea~i admit it.
And i wrote a paragraph at 15th DECEMBER 2009.
But i wrote it in chinese.
The day you betray me.
I wrote it after i found you that day.
Look here.
How stupid am i.
And what a super moron wrote that day........
Remember.I ask you to read this not because i want you to pity me.
Not want you to feel guilty.
Not even hope you will back to me.
I just want you to know before you call me moron.
Please understand all the things.
If still wanna fight then i still will deal with it.
And i wont be moron twice.


16th DECEMBER 2009
My birthday.
GOD cracked a joke with me.
This joke lets me not be able to pay the price.
If can let the time flow backwards.
May take back this joke?
I do not want to accept him to give me this birthday gift.I really cannot receive.
His so-called birthday gift is lets me see him and that girl all dialogues with own eyes.Scene direct seeding.
Looks at them in here every single word or phrase.
Ambiguous phrase.
Let my whole body shiver.Tears can't even stop dropping.
I rather what i see is not real.
But that is a fact.I must face.
When he writes to her each word.
He had once has thought about me?
Although on his finger is also bringing the ring which I deliver.
But he has already forgotten that ring significance.
He has also forgotten everything that he promised me.
Actually I already knew that there's no any love from him to me.
Pale.Stuffy.Greasy.
Is me can't let him go.
Because i can't understand that he treat me hot and cold sometimes.
I deeply believed thought he loves me.
But I am lying myself.
The things happen today actually it's the things i can expected.
But I could not accept.
And don't even know how come that i'm so brave.
Straight go find him and wanna broke up with him.
When i see him. I do not dare to look straight ahead his eyes.Because I scare that I could fluster tenderheartedly.
I take off on his finger the ring.
The tear flows copiously.I erase.
I told him honestly I saw their all dialogues.
I told him many things.But he only returns to me several characters.
Is perfunctory.
I also said he has really given me an extremely good gift.
I walked.He also turned around.
I hoped he will hold me back.But it's the thing he will never do.
Because his heart is not belongs to me anymore.He did not love me.
Going home.
Is looking the ceiling.The memories turn around in the mind.
Cried.I tried to control the sob sound.Cause awake my dad.
At that moment.I can't control myself again.I taken my phone up.Wrote a message to him。。You still remembered today is my birthday?
He returns to me.。。Ya.So what?!!!
I have asked why he did these all things to me?
He said he knew that I'm looking at it so he write it all.
That is only an excuse.
He said he did not want to chat.He wont care about it anymore.Goodbye.
That is his last message.
I said I can pray for heavenly blessing you.You wont see me again..
Tears.Got wet the entire face.wipes it again and again.
I even as silly to hurt myself to kill all pains.
I did it.
But I am sober.
I also know when i'm being stupid here.
And he will just sleeping there without any sadness.Or he's sms with that girl.
I try to not think about it.I also try to sleep. But failed.
Could not sleep.lying on the bed like a dead body.Tears keep dropping.
Was thinking what's the reasons that made me love him that much.Untill can't can't let him go.
I have no idea.No answer.
Thinking about all the things he said and promised me before.
Said wanna have the future with me.Said will marry with me.Said wants me to stay with him and celebrates together every anniversary day.
Hypocrisy.All are just lie.
But I am willing to cheating by him.I want to be that victim.
Although the scars are countless.But I thought it's all worth.
I am really stupid.
Friends told me that i should wake up.
But i don't want to.I'd rather lying myself that he will back to me but he will never again.
But i really don't want to let everything gone like this.
Will he ever thinking about the memories of us?
Will he?..............Wont.....
He left now.Wont come back to me again.Because has a person to wait for him.
But who wont like the pretty roses and like that grass right?
He could not come back.
But his shadow forever can keep in my heart.
Nobody can replace.Nobody can substitute.
If really he find me back someday.
My heart will open for him again.Even if I knew that can let me hurt deeply again.
But I want.
Cause he's the one i love the most.
I can sacricefice all the things to him.Cause i deeply believe that he's the right person for me.
Even he did the bad things to me.I accept.I really do.
Cause only i know how much i love him.
Birthday.Christmas.All the plans gone.Have to over all alone.
He will have his lover very soon.But I do not want to know.Don't want to drop a tear again.
God.I bet don't play around me again.Don't let any bad things happen on me again.I need times to recover......
Raining day.Will he even thinking about me?He wont.
But I can't get rid his face in my mind.
I am still loving him.Deep is loving.
The time really can recover my pain?
If it can.Then how long times i need to take?
Will it take the rest of my whole life till the day i dead?

我爱他 - 叮当*a song*
他的镜框留在 某一节车厢
地下铁里的风 比回忆还重
整座城市一直等着我
有一段感情还在漂泊
对他唯一遗憾 是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪 都停不下来
若那一刻重来 我不哭
让他知道我可以很好
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他 相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏 都不肯醒来
我爱他 跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心 深深伤过却不会忘
我和他 不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂 最重的荒唐
如果还有遗憾 又怎么样呢
伤了痛了懂了 就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
逃不开 爱越深越互相伤害
越深的依赖 越多的空白
该怎么去爱
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他 相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏 都不肯醒来
我爱他 跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心 深深伤过却不会忘
我和他 不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂 最重的荒唐
如果还有遗憾 是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪 都停不下来
若那一刻重来 我不哭
让他知道我可以很好

............

END

♥* 颤抖 *♥

16th DECEMBER 2009
我的生日。
上天跟我开了个玩笑。
这个玩笑让我付不起代价。
如果能让时间倒流。
可以把这玩笑收回去吗。
我也不想收下他给我这份生日礼物。我实在受不起。
他所谓的生日礼物就是让我亲眼看见他和他所有的对话。现场直播。
在这儿看着他们的一字一句。
暧昧的字眼。
让我全身颤抖。眼泪没有一刻社停止过的。
我宁愿眼前的不是真的。
但那是个事实。我得面对。
当他对她写的每一字。
他有曾想过我吗？
虽然他手指上还带着我送的戒指。
但他早已忘了那戒指的意义了。
他也忘了他对我的承诺。
其实我早已知道他对我的爱逐渐消失。
淡了。闷了。腻了。
是我还不肯放手让他走。
因为他的忽冷忽热让我难以捉摸。
我深信以为他还是爱我的。
但我是在骗我自己。
今天发生了这件事。其实是在我预料之中。
但我还是接受不了。
也不知哪来的勇气。
让我上门找他说分手。
看到他我不敢直视他眼睛。因为我怕我会慌了而心软。
我脱下他手指上的戒指。
眼泪夺眶而出。我抹掉。
坦诚对他说我看到了他们所有的对话。
我说了很多。但他只回我几个字。
敷衍吗。
我也说他真的给了我一份非常棒的礼物。
我走了。他也转身走了。
我多希望他会挽留。但他是绝对不会的。
因为他的心不在我这。他不爱我了。
回家。
望着天花板。回忆又在涌起在脑海。
哭了。压抑着哭泣声。怕惊醒了老爸。
再也忍不住。拿起了手机。写了封信息。。。你还记得今天是我的生日吗。。
他回我。。。记得。那又怎样。。。
我有问他为什么要这样做。。
他说他知道我会看所以故意写给我看的。。
那只是个借口。
他是从来不会认错的一个人。
他说他不想聊了。他不会再在乎。再见。。
那是他最后一封信息。
我说我会祝福你们。你不会再看到我。。。
眼泪。弄湿了整脸。怎么抹也抹不掉。
我甚至傻到想要伤害自己去解脱所有的痛。
但我是清醒的。
我也知道我在这痛苦的时候。
可能他是毫无忧愁的睡着。或是跟那个她暧昧的传着信息。
我试着不要去想。我也试着去睡。不能。
入不了眠。躺在床上想死人般。不时掉着眼泪。
在想到底是什么让我这么的爱他。放不下他。
想不透。得不到答案。
想着他的话。之前的甜言蜜语。
说要跟我有未来。说要和我结婚。说要我呆在这和他一起庆祝每一次的纪念日。
虚情假意。都是骗人的。
但我愿意被他骗。我愿意做那个受害者。
尽管伤痕累累。我还是觉得值得。
我是被虐狂。可以这么说吧。
他现在离开了。不会再回来找我。因为有一个人在等着他。
有谁会不坐渡轮而去划那破烂的伐木呢。
他不会回来了。
但他的影子永远都会留在我心里。
没有人能代替。没有人能取代。
如果真的有那么一天他会来找我。
我的心还是会为他打开。即使我知道那会让我伤得更深。
但我愿意。
生日。圣诞。全部的计划都消失了。只好一个人过。
他很快就会有伴了。但我不想知道。不想再掉一滴眼泪。
老天爷。求你别再耍我了。别再让一些不好的事发生。我需要时间消化。
下雨天。他会忽然想起我吗。不会。
但我怎么也摆不脱对他的思念。
我依然爱着他。深深的爱着。
时间真的可以冲淡一切吗。
如果是。那要多久。
一辈子吗。




我爱他 叮当
他的镜框留在 某一节车厢
地下铁里的风 比回忆还重
整座城市一直等着我
有一段感情还在漂泊
对他唯一遗憾 是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪 都停不下来
若那一刻重来 我不哭
让他知道我可以很好
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他 相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏 都不肯醒来
我爱他 跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心 深深伤过却不会忘
我和他 不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂 最重的荒唐
如果还有遗憾 又怎么样呢
伤了痛了懂了 就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
逃不开 爱越深越互相伤害
越深的依赖 越多的空白
该怎么去爱
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他 相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏 都不肯醒来
我爱他 跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心 深深伤过却不会忘
我和他 不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂 最重的荒唐
如果还有遗憾 是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪 都停不下来
若那一刻重来 我不哭
让他知道我可以很好

♥* GOD BLESS *♥

Well.
There's a new plan for DECEMBER.
Because of some reasons i have to change my plan :(
But i'm happy though.
Cause i can meet my hubby faster :P
He will come over here at 1st DECEMBER.
He will stay here with me until 11 DECEMBER.
Then we back to SDK together. :)
But there's something i'm worry about.
The hairshow is coming soon.
And i must be so busy.
Then i worry that i don't enough time to accompany my hubby :(
Whatever.
At least he can stay beside me every night ^^

Hairshow.
7th DECEMBER.
I hope that day everything will be fine.
And no any bad things to happen.
Cause this is the first hairshow.
So i hope it will be a safe and great hairshow ever :)

Another way.
My dear friend that already at KL.
She met some problem over there though.
But she's a strong girl.
And she really try to impress her feelings.
Cause she doesn't want us to worry about her.
But.Dear.
If you always impress your feelings then you will be more stress and unhappy.
What's friends for?
Friends will always by your side and will listening you always.
But now you let us know that you are really fine.
And i do trust you.
But don't impress anything again.
Be happy and have a new nice life over there :)
Miss you.

God bless.
My plan wont ruin by anything else again.
The hairshow will be all okay.
My dear friend will have a nice life there.

THANKS GOD.

♥* DECEMBER *♥

DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm waiting ~
Faster come!
Well.
There's a hairshow at 7 DECEMBER.
And the hair i made is almost done.
Thanks for the idea from my lovely teacher " GARY " ^^
And i do hope there's no any mistake will happen when the hairshow is on.
GOD BLESS PLEASE~ :)

By the way.
That's not the reason i waiting for DECEMBER come over.
The main reason is my hubby will come over here^^
Cause all my housemates wll back to hometown with their school holidays~
So just left me alone in this big house~ =_=
Sounds really horrible!
I have to being alone with the first 10 days of DECEMBER.
Then my hubby will come to me.
And he promised it =]
He changed a lot~
Sure it's in a good way.
More caring and loving.
When i asked him tht he will come to me or not.
Then he had no consider about it then said yes.
I hope that we can keep like this.
And i can't wait to over my birthday with him.
It's the first birthday that i over with my boyfriend.
How will it be?
I'm wonder^^

Christmas is coming soon too~
I will also celebrate it with him =]
He said he will bring me to his friend's party at house.
But not sure neither~
Whatever~
At least i'm with him that night :)

Other way.
DIET!
HARDCORE DIET!
I must slim at least over 5 kg this month!
Before he come to me~
I must work hard on it =_=
But it's already 2 weeks.
Seems like nothing change?
DAMN!
NO GIVE UP!
SLIM SLIM SLIM!

Anyway.
I hope all my plan wont disturb my anything.
Hope that all will really happen in next month.
GOD BLESS.

♥* FOR MY BFF YOANNE *♥

Tonight is the last night we met.
I didn't give you a hug or even say bye to you.
Cause i never hope tonight will be the last night of us.
I do hope you can stay.
But i have to let it be.
I know you will have a better life over there.
You are the girl who like to challenge to improve yourself.
And you are the strong girl.
But remember when you get injured then don't impress.
When you really need someone to help then don't be stubborn too.
Accept people's help maybe it will be better.
Don't too stress for yourself.
Maybe you will think no one will understand how's your feelings.
But if you don't say out then who will know right?
I know i shouldn't said these all things to you cause i'm like that too XD
But i really hope that you will be happy over there :)
You really teach me a lot of things.
I do remember what you told me when that day we being strange at snips cause of the status i wrote on FB.
I really feel guilty to wrote it after you talked to me.
I remember every words you said.
So you said you are selfish.
But i will never think so.
Cause i know i'm really emo and always quite sometimes.
I'm like weird human XD
But i think you understand who am i :)
And who doesn't like to being with funny people,right?^^
Yea.
So don't worry.
I understand everything.
But if i said i don't even feel sad when you guys didn't find me that's for sure is a lie.
But i do understand why :)
Anyway.
You have to take care and be happy always ya^^
If you wanna talk then you can find soh poh chris or me :)
One day we will meet again.
And i will give the big hug for you that tonight i didn't give.

I love you.
Yoanne. *TEARS*

♥* NEW START *♥

The new start of my life.
Me and him get back together again.
There's a really long long story to tell.
Mistakes we both made to let each other misunderstood.
But finally we talked to each other and solve the problems.
Sometimes just being quiet will made things being strange.
But sometimes being like that will made things going easy though.
So we have to make a right decision.
If you got any reasons to do kind of something then you should let people know it.
Cause once you hide the reasons then people will misunderstand you.
So if it's a good reasons then why don't you just tell it out?
Don't always let people guessing what's on your mind.

It's the mistakes we both made.
He doesn't tell me anything so i don't know.
I always guessing what he want.
I always doubting what am i for him.
Just because behind that anything he doesn't tell me are hiding a reason.
But now i know all.
And i'm glad that he told me everything.
So i really understand him now.
And i'm confidence that we can get along with each other now :)
I'm waiting you come to me this december.
I wanna spend all my time with you ^^
WAITING..........



The other side.
There's a special person gonna leave soon.
I don't want to think about it.
Cause it will just made me think so much.
This friend is important.
I can even call her like my sister.
She help me so much.
And we got happy or sad memories.
I don't know her a really long time.
But it's the fate made me to met her.
Mhm...............
Even i understand that she has a lot of best friends out there.
But for me.
She's the one that i can count using one hand with 5 fingers.
Cause i don't have too much best friends.
I hope that she can understand that sometimes i being emo or just don't like to going out.
So i missed many things that happened.
Sometimes i really blur and don't know about the topic. XD
Sorry for that~haha~
6 friends 1 soul is without me.
But i don't feel sad or jealous.
Cause i remember what you told me before. :)
She will leaving soon.
I'm not going to being sad.
Cause i know she can handle everything with her hands.
She's a mature and strong girl for me.
But don't always impress k?
Friends will always stay with you even there's the distance.
So yea~
I believe that you will have a bunch of new friends over there too :)
Take care and Good luck,girl ^^
PS:I will waiting that you coming back and let your hand put on my shoulder go shopping again XD

♥* I GOT IT *♥

*SMILE*
Recently.
I start feel that i changed my mind.
The way i think is not same like before.
I remember a sentence " There's no anyone can't live without someone in this world"
Yea.
That remind me i don't have to acting infront of anyone again.
I have to find my happiness.
The true happiness.
I wont impress and pretending again.
Cause i found that where's my happiness.
Who can give it to me when i'm with them.
I realize :)
Can say that finally i grow up?
Or finally i open my mind to accept anything new in my life?
I don't know XD
But i wont being sad or stupid for anyone that don't care me again.
I trying to get back to my own life =]
And just will care that anyone i love.
Anyone that put me in their eyes.
Anyone that made me feel comfortable and happy when i'm with them^^

YEA :)
On the way of this NOVEMBER.
It will be a busy month ~
*SIGH*
Concentrate!!!!!!!!
GAMBATEH!

♥* DIET *♥

NOVEMBER!
IT'S THE HOT MONTH FOR DIET! XD
Seems like all the friends near me is DIET!
So i have to be really SERIOUS this time! *Serious eyes with blinking stars* XD
so ADD OIL ADD OIL!
SLIM SLIM SLIM! >.<

♥* CONLUCION *♥

I LOVE YOU BOTH!
I HOPE YOU BOTH KNOW AND UNDERSTAND HOW'S THE PERSON AM I ACTUALLY.
AND I NEVER SAID THAT I JEALOUS THAT THE GUYS ALWAYS STICK WITH YOU.
I JUST DON'T WANT THAT YOU GUYS JUST THINK THAT I'M THE KIND OF GIRL ONLY NEED BOY FOR LIFE.
I'M NOT :(
I'M JUST FEEL SAD WHEN YOU GUYS NEGLECTED ME AND ONLY JOIN OTHERS.
I KNOW I ALWAYS MENTION THIS.
AND I'M TOO SENSITIVE AND EMO.BOTH ARE UNIQUE
I ALSO KNOW YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR OWN LIFE.
BUT FOR ME YOU BOTH ARE UNIQUE.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOSE ANYONE.
I'M SELFISH.
I ONLY THINK I WANNA OWN YOU BOTH.
BUT I KNOW IT'S NOT RIGHT.
SO I KNOW I HAVE I HAVE TO CHANGED.
I'M SORRY IF I MADE YOU BOTH FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.
AND I'M SORRY THAT I DIDN'T THINK CLEARLY BEFORE I SAID OUT SOMETHING TO MADE THE SITUATION LIKE RIGHT NOW.
SO BAD~
IF CAN I WILL TAKE BACK ALL THE WORDS.
BUT I KNOW I CAN'T.
I JUST HOPE WE REALLY CAN BACK LIKE BEFORE.
SORRY~

我是罪人。。。。。。。。

♥* HATE *♥

I'm really fucking hate my life right now.
People always pretending.
Hot and cold.
I'm boring with it.
Friends.
Love.
Life.
Everything.
I don't feel like wanna play this kind of game anymore.
I wanna stop.
Don't you think so?
What's for that treating someone like princess or king?
What's for that you love someone but he doesn't care at all?
What's for?
I used to tried so many times to being strong.
But until now~
I'm tired at all.
I wanna stop everything.
Stop my life.
I chose to stp my life.
So please don't ignore me again.
Cause i will just disappear.
And you guys wont see my this fucking ugly face again.
Let the real me rest in peace................

THANKS!

♥* LOVE *♥

Mhm.........
It's a long time that i didn't updated my blog.
There's really too much things happened.
About friends.Love.School.Life.........
ARGHHHH~TIRED!
I hope there's a break to let me rest a bit.

First.
I feel guilty that i talking shit at her back.
But that's really what i feel.
And the things i said doesn't mean that i don't love her.
I really appreciate the time when i'm with her.
She's just like a big sistser.
But sometimes just neglected by her.
And make me jealous?
I don't know.
I just hope she will understand....
And another big sister too.
I really hope we can back like before.
I love you both :'[

Love.
Finally i broke with him.
And i learned how to put down all the things.
And let him go.
There's no way to keep him to be mine if he doesn't care anymore.
So i let him go and i can breath again :)
But i met the new "HIM"
Is that the happy thing?
Maybe no maybe yes.....
I have no idea.
I don't really know what am i for him.
Does he really love me?
But one thing that can sure is i'm really fall for him.
I don't want to.
But my heart keep thinking him.
There's really no way to keep 3 person in a relationship.
Really no way.
I will choose to give up?
I don't hope to get hurt anymore.
CONFUSED.

Hair show.
There's a hair show waiting for me =_=
And once more time i feel stress again.
I'm really worry about that i can afford this hair show.
Can i?
Arghhhhhh~FUCK!
I hope i can disappear and i don't have to do anything and face anything.
But it's a weakness..........
GOGOGOGOGO!
I CAN DO IT!
ps:I DOUBT XD

END =]