* SHAKING *

You said that i'm Moron.
Yea~i admit it.
And i wrote a paragraph at 15th DECEMBER 2009.
But i wrote it in chinese.
The day you betray me.
I wrote it after i found you that day.
Look here.
How stupid am i.
And what a super moron wrote that day........
Remember.I ask you to read this not because i want you to pity me.
Not want you to feel guilty.
Not even hope you will back to me.
I just want you to know before you call me moron.
Please understand all the things.
If still wanna fight then i still will deal with it.
And i wont be moron twice.


16th DECEMBER 2009
My birthday.
GOD cracked a joke with me.
This joke lets me not be able to pay the price.
If can let the time flow backwards.
May take back this joke?
I do not want to accept him to give me this birthday gift.I really cannot receive.
His so-called birthday gift is lets me see him and that girl all dialogues with own eyes.Scene direct seeding.
Looks at them in here every single word or phrase.
Ambiguous phrase.
Let my whole body shiver.Tears can't even stop dropping.
I rather what i see is not real.
But that is a fact.I must face.
When he writes to her each word.
He had once has thought about me?
Although on his finger is also bringing the ring which I deliver.
But he has already forgotten that ring significance.
He has also forgotten everything that he promised me.
Actually I already knew that there's no any love from him to me.
Pale.Stuffy.Greasy.
Is me can't let him go.
Because i can't understand that he treat me hot and cold sometimes.
I deeply believed thought he loves me.
But I am lying myself.
The things happen today actually it's the things i can expected.
But I could not accept.
And don't even know how come that i'm so brave.
Straight go find him and wanna broke up with him.
When i see him. I do not dare to look straight ahead his eyes.Because I scare that I could fluster tenderheartedly.
I take off on his finger the ring.
The tear flows copiously.I erase.
I told him honestly I saw their all dialogues.
I told him many things.But he only returns to me several characters.
Is perfunctory.
I also said he has really given me an extremely good gift.
I walked.He also turned around.
I hoped he will hold me back.But it's the thing he will never do.
Because his heart is not belongs to me anymore.He did not love me.
Going home.
Is looking the ceiling.The memories turn around in the mind.
Cried.I tried to control the sob sound.Cause awake my dad.
At that moment.I can't control myself again.I taken my phone up.Wrote a message to him。。You still remembered today is my birthday?
He returns to me.。。Ya.So what?!!!
I have asked why he did these all things to me?
He said he knew that I'm looking at it so he write it all.
That is only an excuse.
He said he did not want to chat.He wont care about it anymore.Goodbye.
That is his last message.
I said I can pray for heavenly blessing you.You wont see me again..
Tears.Got wet the entire face.wipes it again and again.
I even as silly to hurt myself to kill all pains.
I did it.
But I am sober.
I also know when i'm being stupid here.
And he will just sleeping there without any sadness.Or he's sms with that girl.
I try to not think about it.I also try to sleep. But failed.
Could not sleep.lying on the bed like a dead body.Tears keep dropping.
Was thinking what's the reasons that made me love him that much.Untill can't can't let him go.
I have no idea.No answer.
Thinking about all the things he said and promised me before.
Said wanna have the future with me.Said will marry with me.Said wants me to stay with him and celebrates together every anniversary day.
Hypocrisy.All are just lie.
But I am willing to cheating by him.I want to be that victim.
Although the scars are countless.But I thought it's all worth.
I am really stupid.
Friends told me that i should wake up.
But i don't want to.I'd rather lying myself that he will back to me but he will never again.
But i really don't want to let everything gone like this.
Will he ever thinking about the memories of us?
Will he?..............Wont.....
He left now.Wont come back to me again.Because has a person to wait for him.
But who wont like the pretty roses and like that grass right?
He could not come back.
But his shadow forever can keep in my heart.
Nobody can replace.Nobody can substitute.
If really he find me back someday.
My heart will open for him again.Even if I knew that can let me hurt deeply again.
But I want.
Cause he's the one i love the most.
I can sacricefice all the things to him.Cause i deeply believe that he's the right person for me.
Even he did the bad things to me.I accept.I really do.
Cause only i know how much i love him.
Birthday.Christmas.All the plans gone.Have to over all alone.
He will have his lover very soon.But I do not want to know.Don't want to drop a tear again.
God.I bet don't play around me again.Don't let any bad things happen on me again.I need times to recover......
Raining day.Will he even thinking about me?He wont.
But I can't get rid his face in my mind.
I am still loving him.Deep is loving.
The time really can recover my pain?
If it can.Then how long times i need to take?
Will it take the rest of my whole life till the day i dead?

我爱他 - 叮当*a song*
他的镜框留在 某一节车厢
地下铁里的风 比回忆还重
整座城市一直等着我
有一段感情还在漂泊
对他唯一遗憾 是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪 都停不下来
若那一刻重来 我不哭
让他知道我可以很好
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他 相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏 都不肯醒来
我爱他 跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心 深深伤过却不会忘
我和他 不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂 最重的荒唐
如果还有遗憾 又怎么样呢
伤了痛了懂了 就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
逃不开 爱越深越互相伤害
越深的依赖 越多的空白
该怎么去爱
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他 相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏 都不肯醒来
我爱他 跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心 深深伤过却不会忘
我和他 不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂 最重的荒唐
如果还有遗憾 是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪 都停不下来
若那一刻重来 我不哭
让他知道我可以很好

............

END

♥* 颤抖 *♥

16th DECEMBER 2009
我的生日。
上天跟我开了个玩笑。
这个玩笑让我付不起代价。
如果能让时间倒流。
可以把这玩笑收回去吗。
我也不想收下他给我这份生日礼物。我实在受不起。
他所谓的生日礼物就是让我亲眼看见他和他所有的对话。现场直播。
在这儿看着他们的一字一句。
暧昧的字眼。
让我全身颤抖。眼泪没有一刻社停止过的。
我宁愿眼前的不是真的。
但那是个事实。我得面对。
当他对她写的每一字。
他有曾想过我吗？
虽然他手指上还带着我送的戒指。
但他早已忘了那戒指的意义了。
他也忘了他对我的承诺。
其实我早已知道他对我的爱逐渐消失。
淡了。闷了。腻了。
是我还不肯放手让他走。
因为他的忽冷忽热让我难以捉摸。
我深信以为他还是爱我的。
但我是在骗我自己。
今天发生了这件事。其实是在我预料之中。
但我还是接受不了。
也不知哪来的勇气。
让我上门找他说分手。
看到他我不敢直视他眼睛。因为我怕我会慌了而心软。
我脱下他手指上的戒指。
眼泪夺眶而出。我抹掉。
坦诚对他说我看到了他们所有的对话。
我说了很多。但他只回我几个字。
敷衍吗。
我也说他真的给了我一份非常棒的礼物。
我走了。他也转身走了。
我多希望他会挽留。但他是绝对不会的。
因为他的心不在我这。他不爱我了。
回家。
望着天花板。回忆又在涌起在脑海。
哭了。压抑着哭泣声。怕惊醒了老爸。
再也忍不住。拿起了手机。写了封信息。。。你还记得今天是我的生日吗。。
他回我。。。记得。那又怎样。。。
我有问他为什么要这样做。。
他说他知道我会看所以故意写给我看的。。
那只是个借口。
他是从来不会认错的一个人。
他说他不想聊了。他不会再在乎。再见。。
那是他最后一封信息。
我说我会祝福你们。你不会再看到我。。。
眼泪。弄湿了整脸。怎么抹也抹不掉。
我甚至傻到想要伤害自己去解脱所有的痛。
但我是清醒的。
我也知道我在这痛苦的时候。
可能他是毫无忧愁的睡着。或是跟那个她暧昧的传着信息。
我试着不要去想。我也试着去睡。不能。
入不了眠。躺在床上想死人般。不时掉着眼泪。
在想到底是什么让我这么的爱他。放不下他。
想不透。得不到答案。
想着他的话。之前的甜言蜜语。
说要跟我有未来。说要和我结婚。说要我呆在这和他一起庆祝每一次的纪念日。
虚情假意。都是骗人的。
但我愿意被他骗。我愿意做那个受害者。
尽管伤痕累累。我还是觉得值得。
我是被虐狂。可以这么说吧。
他现在离开了。不会再回来找我。因为有一个人在等着他。
有谁会不坐渡轮而去划那破烂的伐木呢。
他不会回来了。
但他的影子永远都会留在我心里。
没有人能代替。没有人能取代。
如果真的有那么一天他会来找我。
我的心还是会为他打开。即使我知道那会让我伤得更深。
但我愿意。
生日。圣诞。全部的计划都消失了。只好一个人过。
他很快就会有伴了。但我不想知道。不想再掉一滴眼泪。
老天爷。求你别再耍我了。别再让一些不好的事发生。我需要时间消化。
下雨天。他会忽然想起我吗。不会。
但我怎么也摆不脱对他的思念。
我依然爱着他。深深的爱着。
时间真的可以冲淡一切吗。
如果是。那要多久。
一辈子吗。




我爱他 叮当
他的镜框留在 某一节车厢
地下铁里的风 比回忆还重
整座城市一直等着我
有一段感情还在漂泊
对他唯一遗憾 是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪 都停不下来
若那一刻重来 我不哭
让他知道我可以很好
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他 相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏 都不肯醒来
我爱他 跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心 深深伤过却不会忘
我和他 不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂 最重的荒唐
如果还有遗憾 又怎么样呢
伤了痛了懂了 就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
逃不开 爱越深越互相伤害
越深的依赖 越多的空白
该怎么去爱
我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦 狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他 相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏 都不肯醒来
我爱他 跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心 深深伤过却不会忘
我和他 不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂 最重的荒唐
如果还有遗憾 是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪 都停不下来
若那一刻重来 我不哭
让他知道我可以很好

♥* GOD BLESS *♥

Well.
There's a new plan for DECEMBER.
Because of some reasons i have to change my plan :(
But i'm happy though.
Cause i can meet my hubby faster :P
He will come over here at 1st DECEMBER.
He will stay here with me until 11 DECEMBER.
Then we back to SDK together. :)
But there's something i'm worry about.
The hairshow is coming soon.
And i must be so busy.
Then i worry that i don't enough time to accompany my hubby :(
Whatever.
At least he can stay beside me every night ^^

Hairshow.
7th DECEMBER.
I hope that day everything will be fine.
And no any bad things to happen.
Cause this is the first hairshow.
So i hope it will be a safe and great hairshow ever :)

Another way.
My dear friend that already at KL.
She met some problem over there though.
But she's a strong girl.
And she really try to impress her feelings.
Cause she doesn't want us to worry about her.
But.Dear.
If you always impress your feelings then you will be more stress and unhappy.
What's friends for?
Friends will always by your side and will listening you always.
But now you let us know that you are really fine.
And i do trust you.
But don't impress anything again.
Be happy and have a new nice life over there :)
Miss you.

God bless.
My plan wont ruin by anything else again.
The hairshow will be all okay.
My dear friend will have a nice life there.

THANKS GOD.

♥* DECEMBER *♥

DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm waiting ~
Faster come!
Well.
There's a hairshow at 7 DECEMBER.
And the hair i made is almost done.
Thanks for the idea from my lovely teacher " GARY " ^^
And i do hope there's no any mistake will happen when the hairshow is on.
GOD BLESS PLEASE~ :)

By the way.
That's not the reason i waiting for DECEMBER come over.
The main reason is my hubby will come over here^^
Cause all my housemates wll back to hometown with their school holidays~
So just left me alone in this big house~ =_=
Sounds really horrible!
I have to being alone with the first 10 days of DECEMBER.
Then my hubby will come to me.
And he promised it =]
He changed a lot~
Sure it's in a good way.
More caring and loving.
When i asked him tht he will come to me or not.
Then he had no consider about it then said yes.
I hope that we can keep like this.
And i can't wait to over my birthday with him.
It's the first birthday that i over with my boyfriend.
How will it be?
I'm wonder^^

Christmas is coming soon too~
I will also celebrate it with him =]
He said he will bring me to his friend's party at house.
But not sure neither~
Whatever~
At least i'm with him that night :)

Other way.
DIET!
HARDCORE DIET!
I must slim at least over 5 kg this month!
Before he come to me~
I must work hard on it =_=
But it's already 2 weeks.
Seems like nothing change?
DAMN!
NO GIVE UP!
SLIM SLIM SLIM!

Anyway.
I hope all my plan wont disturb my anything.
Hope that all will really happen in next month.
GOD BLESS.

♥* FOR MY BFF YOANNE *♥

Tonight is the last night we met.
I didn't give you a hug or even say bye to you.
Cause i never hope tonight will be the last night of us.
I do hope you can stay.
But i have to let it be.
I know you will have a better life over there.
You are the girl who like to challenge to improve yourself.
And you are the strong girl.
But remember when you get injured then don't impress.
When you really need someone to help then don't be stubborn too.
Accept people's help maybe it will be better.
Don't too stress for yourself.
Maybe you will think no one will understand how's your feelings.
But if you don't say out then who will know right?
I know i shouldn't said these all things to you cause i'm like that too XD
But i really hope that you will be happy over there :)
You really teach me a lot of things.
I do remember what you told me when that day we being strange at snips cause of the status i wrote on FB.
I really feel guilty to wrote it after you talked to me.
I remember every words you said.
So you said you are selfish.
But i will never think so.
Cause i know i'm really emo and always quite sometimes.
I'm like weird human XD
But i think you understand who am i :)
And who doesn't like to being with funny people,right?^^
Yea.
So don't worry.
I understand everything.
But if i said i don't even feel sad when you guys didn't find me that's for sure is a lie.
But i do understand why :)
Anyway.
You have to take care and be happy always ya^^
If you wanna talk then you can find soh poh chris or me :)
One day we will meet again.
And i will give the big hug for you that tonight i didn't give.

I love you.
Yoanne. *TEARS*

♥* NEW START *♥

The new start of my life.
Me and him get back together again.
There's a really long long story to tell.
Mistakes we both made to let each other misunderstood.
But finally we talked to each other and solve the problems.
Sometimes just being quiet will made things being strange.
But sometimes being like that will made things going easy though.
So we have to make a right decision.
If you got any reasons to do kind of something then you should let people know it.
Cause once you hide the reasons then people will misunderstand you.
So if it's a good reasons then why don't you just tell it out?
Don't always let people guessing what's on your mind.

It's the mistakes we both made.
He doesn't tell me anything so i don't know.
I always guessing what he want.
I always doubting what am i for him.
Just because behind that anything he doesn't tell me are hiding a reason.
But now i know all.
And i'm glad that he told me everything.
So i really understand him now.
And i'm confidence that we can get along with each other now :)
I'm waiting you come to me this december.
I wanna spend all my time with you ^^
WAITING..........



The other side.
There's a special person gonna leave soon.
I don't want to think about it.
Cause it will just made me think so much.
This friend is important.
I can even call her like my sister.
She help me so much.
And we got happy or sad memories.
I don't know her a really long time.
But it's the fate made me to met her.
Mhm...............
Even i understand that she has a lot of best friends out there.
But for me.
She's the one that i can count using one hand with 5 fingers.
Cause i don't have too much best friends.
I hope that she can understand that sometimes i being emo or just don't like to going out.
So i missed many things that happened.
Sometimes i really blur and don't know about the topic. XD
Sorry for that~haha~
6 friends 1 soul is without me.
But i don't feel sad or jealous.
Cause i remember what you told me before. :)
She will leaving soon.
I'm not going to being sad.
Cause i know she can handle everything with her hands.
She's a mature and strong girl for me.
But don't always impress k?
Friends will always stay with you even there's the distance.
So yea~
I believe that you will have a bunch of new friends over there too :)
Take care and Good luck,girl ^^
PS:I will waiting that you coming back and let your hand put on my shoulder go shopping again XD

♥* I GOT IT *♥

*SMILE*
Recently.
I start feel that i changed my mind.
The way i think is not same like before.
I remember a sentence " There's no anyone can't live without someone in this world"
Yea.
That remind me i don't have to acting infront of anyone again.
I have to find my happiness.
The true happiness.
I wont impress and pretending again.
Cause i found that where's my happiness.
Who can give it to me when i'm with them.
I realize :)
Can say that finally i grow up?
Or finally i open my mind to accept anything new in my life?
I don't know XD
But i wont being sad or stupid for anyone that don't care me again.
I trying to get back to my own life =]
And just will care that anyone i love.
Anyone that put me in their eyes.
Anyone that made me feel comfortable and happy when i'm with them^^

YEA :)
On the way of this NOVEMBER.
It will be a busy month ~
*SIGH*
Concentrate!!!!!!!!
GAMBATEH!

♥* DIET *♥

NOVEMBER!
IT'S THE HOT MONTH FOR DIET! XD
Seems like all the friends near me is DIET!
So i have to be really SERIOUS this time! *Serious eyes with blinking stars* XD
so ADD OIL ADD OIL!
SLIM SLIM SLIM! >.<

♥* CONLUCION *♥

I LOVE YOU BOTH!
I HOPE YOU BOTH KNOW AND UNDERSTAND HOW'S THE PERSON AM I ACTUALLY.
AND I NEVER SAID THAT I JEALOUS THAT THE GUYS ALWAYS STICK WITH YOU.
I JUST DON'T WANT THAT YOU GUYS JUST THINK THAT I'M THE KIND OF GIRL ONLY NEED BOY FOR LIFE.
I'M NOT :(
I'M JUST FEEL SAD WHEN YOU GUYS NEGLECTED ME AND ONLY JOIN OTHERS.
I KNOW I ALWAYS MENTION THIS.
AND I'M TOO SENSITIVE AND EMO.BOTH ARE UNIQUE
I ALSO KNOW YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR OWN LIFE.
BUT FOR ME YOU BOTH ARE UNIQUE.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOSE ANYONE.
I'M SELFISH.
I ONLY THINK I WANNA OWN YOU BOTH.
BUT I KNOW IT'S NOT RIGHT.
SO I KNOW I HAVE I HAVE TO CHANGED.
I'M SORRY IF I MADE YOU BOTH FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.
AND I'M SORRY THAT I DIDN'T THINK CLEARLY BEFORE I SAID OUT SOMETHING TO MADE THE SITUATION LIKE RIGHT NOW.
SO BAD~
IF CAN I WILL TAKE BACK ALL THE WORDS.
BUT I KNOW I CAN'T.
I JUST HOPE WE REALLY CAN BACK LIKE BEFORE.
SORRY~

我是罪人。。。。。。。。

♥* HATE *♥

I'm really fucking hate my life right now.
People always pretending.
Hot and cold.
I'm boring with it.
Friends.
Love.
Life.
Everything.
I don't feel like wanna play this kind of game anymore.
I wanna stop.
Don't you think so?
What's for that treating someone like princess or king?
What's for that you love someone but he doesn't care at all?
What's for?
I used to tried so many times to being strong.
But until now~
I'm tired at all.
I wanna stop everything.
Stop my life.
I chose to stp my life.
So please don't ignore me again.
Cause i will just disappear.
And you guys wont see my this fucking ugly face again.
Let the real me rest in peace................

THANKS!

♥* LOVE *♥

Mhm.........
It's a long time that i didn't updated my blog.
There's really too much things happened.
About friends.Love.School.Life.........
ARGHHHH~TIRED!
I hope there's a break to let me rest a bit.

First.
I feel guilty that i talking shit at her back.
But that's really what i feel.
And the things i said doesn't mean that i don't love her.
I really appreciate the time when i'm with her.
She's just like a big sistser.
But sometimes just neglected by her.
And make me jealous?
I don't know.
I just hope she will understand....
And another big sister too.
I really hope we can back like before.
I love you both :'[

Love.
Finally i broke with him.
And i learned how to put down all the things.
And let him go.
There's no way to keep him to be mine if he doesn't care anymore.
So i let him go and i can breath again :)
But i met the new "HIM"
Is that the happy thing?
Maybe no maybe yes.....
I have no idea.
I don't really know what am i for him.
Does he really love me?
But one thing that can sure is i'm really fall for him.
I don't want to.
But my heart keep thinking him.
There's really no way to keep 3 person in a relationship.
Really no way.
I will choose to give up?
I don't hope to get hurt anymore.
CONFUSED.

Hair show.
There's a hair show waiting for me =_=
And once more time i feel stress again.
I'm really worry about that i can afford this hair show.
Can i?
Arghhhhhh~FUCK!
I hope i can disappear and i don't have to do anything and face anything.
But it's a weakness..........
GOGOGOGOGO!
I CAN DO IT!
ps:I DOUBT XD

END =]

♥* EMPTY *♥

EMPTY.
I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING BAD AROUND ME.
LIKE ALL PEOPLE HATE ME.
I DON'T KNOW AND I'M NOT SURE.
IF I DONE SOMETHING WRONG.
THEN I'M SORRY ABOUT IT.
MAYBE FORGET WEN WEN WILL BE BETTER FOR YOU ALL.
BLUR BLUR BLUR~
JUST WANNA KNOW WHEN WILL BE THE END OF MY LIFE....................

♥* SOME REASONS *♥

SPEECHLESS
SAD
MAD
EMPTY
HATE
DISAPPOINTED
=
TEARS
I FEEL LIKE I DON'T WANNA BACK KK
MAYBE I HATE THAT PLACE..................
PEOPLE WONT CARE ANYTHING THAT OUT FROM THEIR MOUTH.
AND YOU NEVER KNOW THAT'S TRUE OR NOT.
END.

♥* SINGLE MONTH? *♥

SEPTEMBER
This month just like a SINGLE MONTH.
Cause My Friend back to single.
But i know it's not the end for them.
So best wishes for them *hug*
And me.
Yea~
Maybe i will back to single this month.
Not sure.
And don't want to think.........
SO HAZE .......

♥* TIME TO MAKE DECISION *♥

It's been a long time i didn't update my blog XD
Well.
Staring at my title.
Can you get something?
If you know me well.
Then i bet you can get what's the meaning of the title^^
Yea~TIME TO MAKE A RIGHT DECISION.
I wasting lots of time on someone.
And i always find excuses to delay my decision.
But now.
I think i changed my mind.
I don't really love you like before.
You made me being like this.
I'm trying to give you anything.
But you never appreciate though.
So why i supposed to be a foolish person?
Maybe i will give us a chance again.
A SMS AN ANSWER THEN DECISION.
So if you are checking my blog right now.
The please pay attention on my next blog.
The right decision will appear on the next blog.
CHECK IT OUT =]

♥* COMPLICATED MIND *♥

LAZY.
Actually what's the real meaning of it?
My sister always mention that i'm a really lazy girl.
But am i?
I doubt it to be honest.
Sometimes i just forgot to do something or i'm really not in the mood to do the things and i just said "I'M LAZY".
I really regret to said these words.
And now when i forgot to do something then i will hear something like"YOU ARE DAMN LAZY!"

Okay.
Another story.
I start hating going to my class.
There's a few reasons.
New teachers coming to our college.
Actually that's a great news.
But not really for me.
I hate rules.
And now i feel my college is like jail.
Want you to do something that really difficult or can call it impossible?
You already try your best to do it.
But you really can't make it out.
Nomatter what.
You still have to make it out for him.
It's like ........SPEECHLESS.
When i talk about this to my housemates.
They said it's actually a school and you have to agree with the rules.
I know and i understand it but i don't like that it's be like a jail.
And that's really make me can't breath.
And the sociality of the college is really complicated.
You never know who's the one talking shit behind you.
You never know who's the two faces.
Plus right now i've got my examination everyday.
REALLY STRESS.
But GOD.
Please give me some SPECIAL ENERGY to face it all.
ARGH~~~

Well.
I really doubt myself am i really suit this job?
I'm not a social person.
I don't really wanna continue this course.
But i know i have to.
I wont let my parents disappointed.
Even i just realize i'm not suit this job.
It's too late.
I have to climb it up!
And for sure in the future i will continue my another dream.
GOGOGO!!!!!!!!GOD BLESS! :)

♥* ONE MORE CHANCE *♥

START FROM 11 AUGUST 2009
ONE MORE WEEK
BETWEEN THIS WEEK
NO ANY MESSAGE
NO ANY CALL
NO ANY NEWS
THEN IT'S THE TIME TO BREAK DOWN
I DON'T WANT TO FALL AGAIN
HURT
YOU NEVER KNOW ABOUT THAT FEELINGS
I'M REALLY TIRED THIS TIME
AFTER THIS WEEK
IT'S REALLY THE TIME I HAVE TO LET YOU GO
LET'S COUNT DOWN WITH ME

♥* SICK OF LIFE *♥

Sick about everything of life
My class
My friend
My love
Extremely bad mood :'[
No one can talk with
Where's everyone?
I feel like i'm in a black hole
Can't see the things in the future
Scary
Horrible
Anxiety
How will it be?
Really sick
I hate my life right now..............

♥* LOVING DAYS *♥

Well.Today is the last day i stay at SDK.Feel sucks!And don't know why that feels like don't want to go Snips =_= Strange feelings~*SIGH* But these days i'm happy tho =] Cause i'm always with my baby^^ But we didn't meet today even it's my last day.Cause he just went home at 6am~so cham. Anyway.I'm going to share the moments when i'm with him here :D

I just made a photo frame for him^^ It's a bit mess XD


He like it?I will kill him if he doesn't!

I using a few hours to made this to my baby^^And i obey him that must put in his room!!!HAHAHA!And he just said sure XD Well.Hope that he really like it .


I always having lunch with him after went to his house.But sometimes only me eat and he keep saying so full =_= He's just stubborn~He's just too skinny.His waist size only 27 or 26?OMG~Made me feel like wanna really get slim faster~ AH!STRESS STRESS STRESS!But he eat must tho~but never get fat~i doubt that his stomach ogt smething like........worms? XD

My rice and his milk shake~The milk shake is really delicious~

This is my "liong fen bing"emm......Taste still okay~

He finished it~But there's maybe got a half is finished by me? XD

Well.Cyber is the place i always stay =_= Even there's boring.But i have to accompany my baby =] Sometimes we sitting behind the counter and talking.Sometimes just see him playing games like dota.Dota is my ENEMY!!!!!Cause i just feel that he love dota more than me XD Maybe? LOL~


I taking this when i'm boring XD He's standby to eating.

Dark place~see his face?


Mhm~Now talking about his house^^The place i always go too XD But i mess his bed.Don't think wrong XD i mean my make up thing-"The pink powder" just fall down on his bed .And i try to clean it but not work~I'm worry what will his mom think when she see it XD But just a bit pink only^^Ok bah kalau kau xP

Here's the picture of his bed after messed by me XD I'm sorry.Baby XP

Shhhh~~~I take this when he sleeping XD

Nice? XD ps-If he see this picture that i upload here then he will kill me.But who scare? XD XP


The last day we met.Today is last day!!!! :'[ I don't want to back kaykay even i miss soh poh Christine and Yoanne~But i just don't want to leave my baby........When will be the next time we meet?December?I don't know :( I hope not that long.Baby!Wait me!!!!!!

We take a bunch of pictures today.I just uploaded 1 here.Others on my FS =] http://profiles.friendster.com/griefrules -My FS
Baby.I love you!

Hope the day we meet again will coming faster.I swear i will miss you so bad.But i trust we can keep us.I love you!And you are my only one.I PROMISED! MUACKS~!

♥* I LOVE YOU *♥

Today i went to his house.
And we take a bunch of pictures^^
Yea~We are POSERS! xD
Really enjoy the moment when i'm with him <3
Here's some favorite pictures from me =]

Muacksssssssss!!!!I LOVE YOU,BABY <3

Hrrrr~Silly faces! :P

I love the way you kissing me =^^=

LOL~Tongue VS Tomgue :P

Baby
I love the way you holding my hands
I love the way you hugging me
I love the way you kissing me
I love the way you bite me :X XD
I really love you
Never want to lose you
Muah! <3

♥* THE SPECIAL FEELINGS EVER *♥

*That's the ribbon clip by me XD* CUTE!!!

Today is 24th JULY 2009.It's the third day that i back from KK to SDK.When the first day i met him.We didn't talk even 10 sentences?Just a bit feel strange.After i back home.He sms me that say"You said want to solve the problem face to face but why you said nothing?"He do still remember that thing.Am i need to be happy or?Cause this mean that he still care a lot about us.The second day.I went to his house and really surprised that his mom and his little brother at home.OH GOG!i shocked!And he's still sleeping!WOW~So i just sitting in his bedroom and being quite.But his mom is nice though.Got talk with me a bit.He doesn't introduce me to his mom that i'm his girlfriend but at least he doesn't hide anything too =] That day i just help him to straight his hair and we still being strange.But after we going to cyber and sitting together at the counter.He start holding my hands.That feelings come back to me again.Warm.I ask him"You never answer my question that i asked you many times"*do you still love me?* Then he looking at me holding my hands said"I love you"I don't know give what response.I just giggles.And there's many things happened behind the counter~you know XD hahaha!The third day.Today.I went to his house again.We both thought that his house will be blank but.........his little brother still feel sick so stay at house =_= a bit dissapointed LOL~Well.His little brother name keong keong.He's just 6 years old child^^And he do know speaking chinese but he never want to speak it with me~So he just show me the action what he want to speak to me XD Cute^^ After that.Baby nick just sitting beside me on sofa and we watching tv together.Mhm~He holding my hands and giving me soft kisses sometimes.That feelings just i never had before...I feel like we are a family.So blissful so warm.I will never foget this moment *love* But he told me that he will follow his best friend go to Australia to work.......I never want bby to leave me =[ But...I can't control his life.....The only thing i can tell is i really love my baby~Wanna stay beside him forever *hug*

♥* FUCK OFF *♥

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!
DON'T FEEL WANNA STAY AT THIS SHIT PLACE ANYMORE!
JUST FEEL SICK OF ALL THE THINGS!
EW~HATE!
DON'T TELL ME HATERS MAKE YOU FAMOUS!
YOUR FACES JUST LIKE CUNT!
DON'T THINK YOU ARE THE BEST!
ACTUALLY YOU ARE JUST A CHILD THAT STILL SUCKING YOUR MAMA'S MILK!
A GATE CRASHER!

AN ARMCHAIR CRITIC!
SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND GO STUCK AT THE CORNER!
ONCE I SAW YOUR FAKE ASS FACES JUST FEEL LIKE WANNA STUCK THE SHIT IN YOUR MOUTHS!
LOSER!

Well.
Definitely in bad mood.
Extremely worst.
I'm really get bored with my life here.
Gonna take a breath.
Almost hate all the things.
EMO?
Yea~Maybe.
I'm going to delete this blog stuffs.
I'm still decide about it.
Cause i feel silly.
That's all.

*PS:IF THE WORDS I WROTE MADE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE OR MADE YOU THINK I'M A BITCH OR WHATEVER.I'M SORRY.THIS IS MY BLOG AND I GOT MY FREEDOM TO WRITE WHAT I WANT.THANK YOU. =] TRUST ME.I CAN BEING NICE ONLY WHEN YOU LOVE ME.

By the way.
I'M INLOVE WITH MEGAN FOX!AW~~~~~~ =^^=

♥* SICK *♥

SICK!!!!!!!!!!!
Is that H1N1?! :O
Nah~I think i'm not that serious?
But i didn't going to Snips like forever.
This week probably will be my abcent week =_=
Tuesday.Wednesday.Thursday.
These 3 days i just staying at home.
Hella bored......
And tomorrow will be Friday.
Well.I admit Friday will be the lazy day for me XD
Then start from 20th July until 2th August.
I will going back to my hometown SDK.
So i think my Snips friends wont get to see me like 3 weeks long~
Wow~a long time tho.
But something make me sad is both of my best friends didn't call me even a sms :(
Maybe they are busy or whatever....i don't know.

Anyway.
I'm excited waiting for the day that i back to SDK.
Cause i can see my family and HIM again.
I hope i can stay over there long but impossible~ *SIGH* And i'm really mad about the girls who hitting on him!
I know he's already deleted the album of us and set his status to "complicated"
But it doesn't mean everyone can hit on him.
That just make me on the fire! F*ck off!!!!!! >.<

Fine.....
I'm tired...
It's time to take medicine again =_=
Sucks! ~~~~~

Take care of yourself.Everyone =]

♥* I WANT WE BACK LIKE BEFORE *♥

9th July 2009.Today i didn't go to class.So i just stay at home.But i woke up early like around 8.30am.I lying on my bed.Suddenly my phone ringing.It's a message.I holding my phone in my hand and click ok.I thought it was my senior or others friends.But it's appear the name i waiting a long time.It's a message from my baby nick.I was so excited and surprised.Cause his phone was crap and we didn't sms each other like ages plus we got problem between us.But i'm really happy that we can keep contact with each other and he still remember to contact me.Is that mean he's still care me?I don't know.After we chat a bit.I just feel that he's not samelike before anymore.

Me:You changed already.Didn't same like before.Didn't sweet to me again =[
Him:Yalor.Not same already.
Me:Can't we back like before?
Him:Donno.
Me:Ya.I can feel it.
Him: :P
Me:I think i will back to SDK and we solve the problem face to face,k.
Him:OK.
Me:Can i ask you a question?And don't ignore this questionplease.
Him:What?
Me:Do you still love me?
Him:Donno.
Me:It's okay.......
Him:I'm going to eat now.
Me:okay...

I'm really sad after these message.I know he doesn't care me anymore.But why he still keep giving me hope?If he doesn't love me then why still sms me?Why he can't just leave me alone and go away?The pain inside my heart is nothing can describe.The only thing i want to do is just i wanna get him back and let him back like before.I really love him so much.I just really can't let him go.But if he wanna go then i will let it be.Now i just wanna be with him.My friends used to tell me that i'm just stupid and nees time to forget about him but i really can't.All i want is him.Nothing else.I love him.I love Baby Nick.

♥*KK BOX *♥

The birthday girl-Terita and Me =]

Well.It's 7th and we plan to celebrate my friend Terita's birthday which is at 8th.
So we are going to KK BOX to celebrate her birthday^^
We arrive there like 7.30pm.

The first thing we do is faster take the plates and catching the foods XD
Cause we are waiting for the meal from morning.So hella hungry!LOL~

Well.We finished the meal XD
It's the MESS!LOL~

After that.We just singing nonstop.But the room we in is really sucks!The monitor is always appear problems. =_=" Remember!That's ROOM 11^^.Then 12am is coming.And the waiters there take the birthday cake that we prepare go in the room.And we singing birthday's song to Terita.By the way.The situation is a bit auckward.HAHA!But we are happy to be honest^^Vanessa and Me (She's Terita's sister^^ plus my housemate :D)
Pearl And Me
C.K Chung and Me (He's my roomate =_=") XD
Jason and Me (He's my Sister's Boyfriend^^)
Lycann and Me (He's my Cousin plus roomate =])
Ah Man and Me(My Housemate =])
Lycann,Jason,Wei Wei(my sister) and Me :D

The we just taking photos with terita.For sure i have catch the chance to taking pics with my housemates too^^So that night is a bit hyper and my voice is totally broke after singing the 6 hours XD

Anyway.Hope Terita is happy and wish that her dreams will come true =]
Happy Birthday!